Some Decisions Made ...

After a long, and on my part tearful, conversation with my pastor (there's a job I never want to have to do), I've come to a realization and some decisions:

Realization: This is legitimately a crisis.  The definition if crisis (not literally, but in my book) is something that you can't fix by just working harder, you have to change what you are doing to resolve it.

Therefore:  (1) I need to suck it up and borrow 3 months living expenses from my parents.  Hopefully I won't need it all, but that way I am covered until the end of January.  I cried about this for a long time, because I am so sad to go back into the cycle of needing to pay down debt; I really thought that this time having a 6 month EF would save me.  However, I have health issues that require me to have 9 hours of sleep a night or my whole body breaks down.  I cannot possibly take a new job while trying to manage babies and husband without a health breakdown.  I have to take the long view here.

(2) I need to eliminate all unnecessary stress from my life until the crisis passes.  For instance, I've been doing Weight Watchers since April (and lost nearly 20 lbs!) but I need to let go of that right now; I just don't have the energy.  Someone else is cooking all my meals, so I have no control over what gets fixed, and it will make me crazy to try to eat within my points.  I'll just have to lose any weight I gain back after this is over.  I am also not attending meetings for any clubs or any other fun things that I could do instead of sleep.  I'm giving myself a pass on blogging since I need it for stress relief.  I will also keep working out for the same reason.

(3) As soon as this crisis is over, I have to get a job.  Not having any control over our incoming income is driving me crazy.  I need to figure out what I want to get a job doing now that my dream job fell through and make that my dream.  If that doesn't work, I need to move on and find another dream.  I've allowed the perfect to become the enemy of the good in this instance.  But this is something to worry about after Mr. Goat can lift babies again, not this week.